Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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