So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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