I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
