He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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