normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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