im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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