Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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