I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
