remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize