My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
