I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
