im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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