I wish I could teleport
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
