As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize