Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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