dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im holly from the hills drunk
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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