where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
