Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
