I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
