Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
