you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
