Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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