Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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