I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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