Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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