Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
