I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
