like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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