Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
