It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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