Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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