my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
