I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
