She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
