help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
