we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
