It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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