I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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