I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
