before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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