You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Randomize
