I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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