Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Randomize
