this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize