i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
