Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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