Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
