GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
