I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
