If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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