Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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