he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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