While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
