he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
