I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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