i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
