But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
