plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
