thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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