a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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