im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
