I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
