I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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