How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
