I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
