Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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