The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
