Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
