My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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