Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
