It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
