i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
